From Home to Home and Back Again

Some people go on a trip to discover themselves. Others go for the adventure, or the new experiences. Some are trying to escape. Others are asking questions and looking for answers.

If I was going to be honest, I’d have to say that there is a little bit of all of these in my heart. I’m returning to Macedonia this summer, and I am looking forward to all that will hold for me. I had the opportunity to spend two weeks there in 2014, and I am ecstatic to be returning. Two weeks is just long enough to fall in love with somewhere new, which is exactly what I did last time. I’ve been yearning to go back ever since, and have just been waiting for God’s timing.

Details: I’ll be leaving July 10th, and returning August 1st. For those of you who didn’t follow my trip last time, I’ll be working with the CRU ministry (Campus Crusade for Christ) putting on an English camp for Macedonian highschoolers/college students. This year there will be two separate camper groups, so I’ll have two separate groups of people to bond with and share with this time. I’m excited to work with the new students, and can’t wait to get hugs from everybody I met last time!

Prayer Points: I crave your prayers!!! This trip will be a new experience, since I’m flying solo and won’t have a team with me until I get over there. Please pray for:

• Peace. For me, and my family.
• Safety, while traveling to and from, and while in the country.
• A soft heart. I’m looking forward to spending time with my Jesus while I’m there, and want to listen to the plans and lessons He has for me.
• Prepared hearts for the campers. Please join me in praying for everyone I’ll have a chance to talk with!
• Smooth Logistics. The SpeakOut team is awesome, and they do so much to put everything together and ensure a smooth run while the camp is in swing. Pray for them.
• 75 Campers per week. Adam Burkey has specifically requested that we pray for this number. God can do amazing things!
• Joy & Strength. My goal is to spend all 23 days loving on all the people around me. I’m going to need strength from Jesus, because there’s no way I can pour into that many people alone. I want the smile on my face to be a genuine one. 🙂

**IMPORTANT**
I will not be non-existent on social media once I arrive in Macedonia. All pictures, stories and updates will be posted here on my blog while I’m there. You can either check it regularly for posts (there’s a 6 hour time difference and wifi may be spotty so there won’t be any regularity), or sign up to follow my blog and you will get an e-mail letting you know when I’ve posted something. There is a bright orange ‘Follow’ button at the bottom of the page. I absolutely love getting messages and e-mails while I’m gone, so please do feel free to message me on Facebook or send me an e-mail. I’ll do my best to respond, but please know that hearing from you all will bring a smile to my face and remind me of all my prayer warriors and friends back home ❤

I love you all and cannot wait to come back and share all my crazy stories with you! Thank you to everyone who supported me financially, and a big thank you to all of you who are surrounding me in prayer. I am so blessed to have you all in my life!

“…The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16

Caio!
Rachael

Playing in the Sand

Have you ever tried to run on a beach? Built a sand castle too close to the waves? Played beach volley ball and came home with the stuff sifting out of your clothes, your shoes, and your hair for days afterwards?

Sand is universally understood to be an unsteady medium. It moves, it shifts, it blows any and every way the wind takes it. We reference the parable in Scripture about building houses on a sandy foundation, and berate the foolish builder for not having some common sense. Sand? Come on, buddy.

Let me compare our hearts and minds to sand. Unsteady. Shifting. Fickle. Scripture bemoans this fact, saying “the heart…who can know it?” (Jer 17:9) Ever walk on a beach in wet sand? Look behind you. In a few seconds, your footprints will fade away – erased like they were never there.

In Sunday school a few weeks ago, someone brought up a sand analogy that I’ve been pondering ever since. He spoke of digging a hole in the sand – comparing the hole to a recently confessed sin in our hearts. Whenever we are convicted of sin in our lives, and confess it, there is a hole. A void, if you will, that needs to be filled with something. We can’t just keep the hole empty. It doesn’t work that way. We have two choices. We can either leave it alone and let our heart fill itself with something – possibly with that same sin (or potentially something worse). Or, we can choose to be proactive. We can choose to fill that void with something of value.

It is rather simple to confess a sin in my life. Easy, even. Especially the surface-level sins that everyone deals with and willingly admits to struggling with. Disrespect. Selfishness. Pride. Anger. Lust. Envy. Discontentment. Putting things and people before God. #thestruggleisreal, guys.  

The thing is, Jesus doesn’t call us to a life of confessing, and reconfessing, and reconfessing sins and never doing anything to permanently remove them from our hearts and minds. He doesn’t call us to keep digging holes in the sand of our hearts, minds and lives. He calls us to action. He commands us to fill ourselves, our lives, our minds, our hearts, with Truth. We’re not supposed to be spending all our time and energy digging holes and being ‘humble’, career-confessing Christians. Scriptures says to “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) We’re supposed to be spending our time and energy building and filling our hearts, minds and lives with His Truth. But what do we do instead? We dig in the sand, and it fills right back up. And there is no lasting change.

But there is hope. And it’s sitting right in front of us. Waiting for us to act and use it. We’re neglecting – I’m neglecting – the most powerful tools that I have. Prayer. Scripture. Fellowship with strong believers. Iron sharpens iron, people. Instead of working to nourish myself with Jesus, I just let my holes fill up with sand. It’s easier. There are so many times that I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to read my Bible. I don’t want to memorize Scripture. I don’t want to work for it. I don’t want to make time for it. It’s easier to just keep sinning, confess it afterwards and move on. It’s acceptable, even. We’re taking the easy way out. We’re just playing in the sand. And we’re missing so much.

The wise man built his house upon a rock. Are you playing in the sand instead?

How are you today?

How are you doing today? Good? If I asked you that in person I’m guessing that’s what you’d say. How about if I asked you if you were a regular liar? You’d probably say no and give me a nasty look for asking such a question. Yet, I’m willing to bet that we’re lying all the time and we don’t even think about it. Let me ask again.
“Hey, how are you today?”
“I’m good, how about you?”
“Good.”

How many times do you ask this question, or answer it, every day? If you work with or around other people, my guess is a lot. It’s cliche. Those of us who tend to be awkward often accidentally patch it together with some other standard greeting.

“Hi there!”
“Good, how about you?”

Hashtag awkward.

Either way, ‘good’ is normal. Expected, even. A standard opener to any conversation. And, if you don’t feel like talking, it is an effective end to any more questions about your personal well being and move on to safer topics.

Sometimes we say ‘good’ and we really mean good. We smile, we wave. We’re good. For that day, for that moment, to answer that question; ‘good’ is an accurate answer. But more than not, our cliche response is not true. It’s a lie. Instead of I’m fine, ‘good’ translates into don’t ask.  It works the same way in our texts. Smilie faces and ‘lols’ are way easier than an honest answer.

Think about it. If I asked you to list a dozen different words to describe how you feel today, you could exceed that number without difficulty. And if you couldn’t do it in words, you could probably do it with emoji’s.

Hey, I’m not one to try to make you feel bad about today. Maybe you are good. Great. I’m glad to hear it. But if you’re not, I challenge you to be honest about it. Don’t go in detail about your life to the barista at the counter, or the drive thru worker at Mickey D’s…because chances are they don’t want to know. Been there, done that.
But the next time somebody asks you how you’re doing, hesitate right before you give an answer. Think for a sec. Give an honest answer.

Sad? Confused? Happy? Excited? Upset? Content?

Tell me straight up. I’ll do the same.

Caio!
Rachael

How much do you know?

Reading in Psalms today, and it struck me how descriptive David is about his Lord. Over and over he lists attributes of God’s character. In detail David tells us what brings Him joy, what turns His anger, and over and over how He has shown Himself strong.

Do you know God like David did? David knew his Lord. Intimately. Deeply. Personally.

What do you know of the God of the universe? He has so many names.

Creator

The Beginning

The End

Prince of Peace

King of Kings

He knows you. He knows what makes you happy. What breaks your heart. He loves you.

Write a Psalm! Describe your Lord. Praise Him for what He has done for you personally. Tell of how you see His hand at work all around you. Praise His Name. Describe the attributes of His character that you know and have experienced.

It doesn’t have to rhyme. You don’t have to show it to anybody. You don’t have to be good at writing. Trust me, God doesn’t mind. He knows you, remember?

The question is, how well do you know Him?

Out of Control

I like to control things. It’s one of my faults. I’m not a perfectionist by far, but I usually have a very clear vision of what I want things to look like, strongly accompanied by the very stubborn idea that I am the only one who can make it come to pass ‘just so’. Being naturally artistic doesn’t help, because I know what looks good, and it bothers me when I see someone else doing something and I know it could be better.

Enter my 6 year old little sister, Abby. She likes nail polish.

You can imagine what was going through my head tonight when she gave me that big, blue, puppy-eyed look. “Rachael, can I paint your toenails?”
I took a look at my toes, and inwardly sighed.

 “Sure, Babe, but let me pick the color, ok?” 

She was ecstatic. And you know what? My toenails look fine. They’re not perfect – there’s a quirky little teardrop of color running down my right big toe, and not everything is even. But it doesn’t matter.

It was relatively easy for me to let go of this thing. Other things? Not so much. I mean, come on. Toenails are toenails. Walmart sells polish remover for a reason.

What about the things in my life that I find harder to stop controlling? The things that can’t be fixed with a q-tip and some acetone…that actually matter to me. A lot.

I was reading in the book of Samuel yesterday, and it reminded me once again to release this illusion of control that I hold on to so dearly.

1st Samuel chapter 15 is a very stunning chapter in the life of Saul. We tend to remember Saul as the bad guy. But really? I think Saul is a pretty good picture of someone who is going crazy trying to control everything he cannot. The chapter details how Saul has been instructed to preform the task of decimating the Amalekite nation. Everything.

“But Saul and the people spared Agag (the king), and the best of the sheep, and of the oxen, and of the fatlings, and the lambs, and all that was good, and would not utterly destroy them: but every thing that was vile and refuse, that they destroyed utterly.” (vs. 9)

After the battle, Samuel comes winding his way between the tents and the campfires of the victorious Israelite army to stand before Saul. I picture it in the early morning, and Saul is a little sleepy and a little drunk with wine and victory from the night before. He tries to make a show for the old prophet.

“Blessed be thou of the LORD: I have preformed the commandment of the LORD.” (vs. 13) 

But Samuel doesn’t buy it. He lifts up his hands and waves them towards the pens of animals at the far end of the camp. I think he was very sad, and very disappointed. Almost pleading with Saul.

“What meaneth then, this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?” (vs. 14)

Why? Why, Saul?

Why, Rachael?

Why let go of the insignificant details of my life, but hold on to the big ones?  Why surrender control of the things I don’t care about, but keep ‘all the choicest things’ for myself?

Because I’m too scared? Because I want to make sure it turns out my way?

My God is faithful. He is powerful. He is in control. And it’s time I remembered that.

I don’t want to be like Saul. He traded the kingdom for a handful of sheep and oxen. And the word picture at the end of the chapter is as rich with regret as it can be. We see Samuel turning away from Saul, getting ready to leave the king with his treasured livestock. The old prophet lays old of his robe and tears it to shreds. And he weeps. Weeps, remembering the strong young man that he anointed so long ago…and weeps for the man he has become.

This year, search your heart with me, and ask God to reveal the things that you struggle to surrender to Him wholeheartedly. Little things, big things, middle sized things…
Whatever it is that you’re holding on to, whether it’s in fear, or in anger, or in bitterness….surrender it to God. Entrust it to Him. Sign it over. Let Him have it, keep it, control it.

He takes good care of the things, and the people, that belong to Him.

And while you’re at it, you might as well let your sister have the fun of painting your toenails…

Caio!
Rachael

Feeling 22

Technically, by the time you read this, it’ll be my first day of being 22. Exciting, right?

Sometimes, I’m not so sure.

Taylor Swift put it well in her classic song ’22’ (that I – of course – bought off iTunes today)

// We’re happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It’s miserable and magical oh yeah //

Now I’m not saying that this holds true for everyone, but Year 21 seemed to land a little heavy handed in the confused, lonely & miserable side for me. So many days I ended feeling like I’d lost more of myself than I found, taken two steps backward for every half a step in the right direction, and instead of making new friends and growing closer with Jesus & my family…distance was all too common instead. I’d started Year 21 with high hopes – fresh home from a trip to Europe, feeling right with God & ready to take on the world. But the death of a close friend, a job change and the end of a relationship (among other factors) brought me crashing back down and wondering where, and who I was.

Anybody who knows me would probably use the more positive words from the song to describe me. You’ll find me dancing at any party, usually contributing to the music, and one of the more free spirited of the bunch. So what the heck happened? I found myself searching for my joy, and coming up empty handed. Many a friend let their coffee get cold while they tried to encourage me. My family hugged me, and my mom let me cry in her shoulder so many times. And for a while, I’d be good. Until another piece of my world came falling down and I was left shaking – feet spread apart and arms flailing, just trying to keep my balance.

I found this little video about a little girl and her snowman, and it hit my heart, deep. Every time I watched it, I bawled like a baby. I related so much to both the little girl, growing up and trying to sort it all out, and also the snowman – left behind in the shuffle. (It probably didn’t help that she locks the snowman in the freezer – one of my greatest irrational fears)

I can’ t live like this anymore. I want my joy back. I want to be that free- spirited, happy-go-lucky, meet-you-in-two-minutes on a whim kind of friend, sister & daughter. I’m starting to learn my lesson – that I can’t always please other people, and I just need to focus on pleasing Jesus, and sorting out myself. Because that’s all that really matters.

So long, Year 21. High-five, Year 22. Here’s to music, to friends, to family.

I might take a road trip, or maybe I’ll go back to Europe.

I might get my black belt. Maybe I’ll Zumba three times every week or run a 10K.

Maybe I’ll buy myself flowers for Valentines day. I might get my wisdom teeth out.

// Everything will be alright, if we just keep dancing like we’re 22 //

I might move out, or maybe I’ll celebrate Year 23 at home with my family in my pajamas. Because I can.

Who knows? I don’t. I’m learning to be okay with that. My brother gave me a chalk board tonight for my birthday present, and he’d painstakingly written the message “Not all who Wonder are Lost” across it. I’m taking that to heart.

I’m not going to focus on what I can’t do, or can’t change any more. I’m going to what I can, because that’s all I can do, and leave the rest in Jesus’ able Hands.

Besides, I’ve got a new song, and a new year to celebrate.

And I intend to do just that.

Caio!
Rachael ❤

Comparables

It’s always bothered me that people compare everything, all the time. We compare our situations, our experiences, our bodies, our talents, health, wealth & prosperity (or lack thereof). We look at our relationships with other people, or with God Himself, and we compare depth, meaning & sincerity. We judge ourselves, and others, based off of how well we measure up to each other, or to some elusive or impossible standard.

We read about the murderer in the daily paper and breathe a sigh of relief that compared to that guy we’re model citizens and righteous upstanding people of character. We pat ourselves on the back for that one.

Good job, buddy. You didn’t murder anybody today. 

Yet, in the next minute, we’re taking a sideways glance at the figure of the person across the street and wishing we’d have kept that gym membership.

Oh, man. Those oreos are eating at your conscience now, huh? You’re so out of shape…compared to them. Wait, wait, that person over there looks way worse…never mind, you’re doing pretty good. 

Let’s get spiritual, shall we? I saw you checking out the well marked Bible of the person who sat next to you in church last week. Pick up a highlighter when you got home so you had some color going on in your pages too, huh?

Such a terrible Christian compared to them.

Just wait, it gets worse. When life goes wrong, we get a twisted sense of joy from knowing that someone else has it worse. Somehow along the way ‘counting your blessings’ has gone from being reminded of why you should be thankful to pointing out how much worse it could be. You know what I’m talking about! The whole

“Yeah, I know you had a bad day, but at least you’re not dying of cancer like the single homeless mom with five kids that I read about today”

story. Exactly how does that make you feel better, again?

Or, we take a bad situation, and try to justify it by arguing that we should be paying attention to other things that are worse. Instead of realizing that both situations suck, and we live in a sick, messed up, world.

Because we do. 

Just stop it already. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to make yourself feel better because someone else has it worse. Stop ignoring when something terrible happens, just because other terrible things happen.

Just stop, please? If we all quit, the world would be a better place….comparatively.

Untouchables

I had a dream this morning. It was one of those dreams that felt so real. I woke up ready to cry. It may not have been real, but it sure felt that way. And while it was just a dream, the fact remains that rejection does happen. It’s easier to love people without ‘touching’ them. To brush them aside without meeting their actual, individual needs. And I shudder to think of how I could so easily turn someone aside. Or maybe I have. I can’t get the face of the little girl out of my mind. I can hear her begging me. Why are you afraid? Please. Please love me. Please. What did I do wrong?

She was just a little thing. So thin the wind could pick her up and carry her away. Not starving, no. She was a beautiful little girl, about eight years old. Perfectly healthy at first glance. At least, from a distance. Up close, instead of focusing on the big brown eyes, mischievous smile & darling little nose that was her face…you saw sores.

Yes, sores. Incredibly deep, rose-red sores covered her hands, her body, her neck, the top of her head. Her fine brown hair was in patches – falling out where the skin had rotted away. Only her face was unblemished. She had leprosy.

But she acted like she didn’t know it. I honestly think she didn’t. All of the innocence of youth shown in her eyes and her wide smile. She acted so carefree. So naive to the truth that everyone around her could see. I watched as she ran and sang and laughed and danced, lifting her arms over her head and jumping; the fraying seams of her clothing drifting in rhythm around her.
I watched that same innocence drive a knife edge into her heart every time some unsuspecting person ran away from her, or touched her and then jumped back, screaming. Person after person turned her away from their door and I watched those big brown eyes brim up with innocent tears over and over again, asking a silent question.

Why is everyone afraid of me?

She needed someone to love her. She needed someone to touch her. A human hand to hold, human arms to hold her in a hug, human fingers touching her face, running through her hair. Maybe people told her God loved her, I don’t know. But she didn’t need to be told. She needed to be shown. Everyone tolerated her at a distance. They did their Christian duty. They smiled at her. Waved at her. Fed her on their front porches. Gave her something cast off to wear. But they wouldn’t touch her. She reached out, again and again. Touch me. Hold me. I need someone to love me. Why are you afraid? Please. Please love me. Please. What did I do wrong?

Then, she reached for me. She crept close and traced the neckline of my t-shirt with her finger. I tensed, but didn’t move. Then she looked up at me with a hesitant smile and reached out her arms for a hug. Her body, so small. I could pick her up and hardly feel the weight. I could let her kiss my cheek and lay her still unblemished one against my shoulder. I could love her.

I hesitated, afraid. Wanting to touch her, but afraid to. Afraid to touch her. Afraid to become like her. Afraid to love her.

And then I woke up.

Living or Dying? A poem in the style of Dr. Suess

Is there a difference between life and death?

If I were to ask you, you’d surely say yes.

But think! There is but subtle difference between

The living and dying…or so it would seem.

 
Just what does it take to define that small change?

And why, if I ask, do you look at me strange?

I ask for your answer with no flippant tongue

Why you? Well, why not? Someone needs to have one.

 

So – is there a difference? Have you given it thought?

Are you living, or dying? Not dying? Why not?

The answer is simple, or so I should think.

If we all would actually sit down and THINK.

 
What? You don’t have time to consider this thought?

You don’t have the time? Why that’s ALL that you’ve got.

And not very much of that either I’d say.

So you really should take just a snatch of your day.

 
Only a moment of pre-scheduled time

That you squander away just like pennies and dimes

And think! There is but subtle difference between

You living or dying…or so it would seem.

 

Rachael Campbell, April 7th, 2015

A Challenge

The only way I’ve heard the word ‘challenge’ referenced recently is in regards to some new posting thread on Facebook. You know, the “I challenge you to post Scripture for ten days/dump ice water on your head/list your favorite songs/books…..etc. etc. etc.??”

I sit at my computer, typing out my daily dose of the ‘Post A Bible Verse For Ten Days Challenge” and I have to stop and think – am I really challenging myself?

I just looked it up. Among other examples, Merriam Webster defines a challenge as:

1.) a summons that is often threatening, provocative, stimulating, or inciting

2.) a stimulating task or problem.

I think back in history for examples. The names of great men and women come to mind. Heroes, villains, kings, queens, tyrants. Good or bad, they challenged themselves. They pushed themselves to their limits and beyond. They changed the course of history. We remember them, even despise or revere them for it. But it doesn’t matter what they did, so much as it does that they did something.

I think back to the last six months of my life. I look again at the half-typed Bible verse on my screen.

Really? IS THAT IT?

I didn’t write this to guilt anyone into doing something. I didn’t write it to tell people not to post Scripture on the internet. By all means, post Bible verses. Tell me about your favorite books and movies. Dump ice water on your head.

But maybe, just maybe, you should consider what you should be doing to REALLY challenge yourself. To stimulate yourself. Push yourself to your limits and beyond.

What is your challenge? Everyone has challenges unique to himself/herself.

Do you struggle to talk in front of others? Or does it come naturally?

Is it easy for you to get up in the morning? Or do you find yourself dragging out of bed?

How willing are you to stand on what you believe and be open about it?

When is the last time you made an effort to learn something new? Or are you comfortable with what you’ve already learned?

Do you find it natural to serve those around you, or is it a struggle for you to consider others needs?

I can’t answer these for you. Maybe these are challenges for you. Maybe not. But whatever your challenge is, I encourage you…no, I challenge you, to push yourself. Push yourself to the point where you are where you’ve never been before. Try something new. Talk to a stranger. Stand for what you believe in. Share your faith face to face with someone. Get up early. Learn a new skill.

Challenge yourself. For real.